By joining this group, you consent to others:
- Sharing something intimate
- Expressing any emotion that most people would evaluate as 'negative', e.g. anger or sadness
- Revealing to a player that you have a 'negative' emotion that you associate with them
This consent applies only within the group, but cannot be revoked except by leaving the group.
WHAT TO DO/SAY
bold = hard rule
|Do not||Suggested alternative|
|Blame others for your thoughts, feelings or actions.||Tell them "I resent you for specific act"|
|Coerce, manipulate or demand||Say what you want without a guarantee of getting it.|
|Evaluate/judge thoughts, feelings, actions, characteristics or people as good or bad||describe the thought, feeling, action, characteristic or person as accurately as you can.|
|Make assumptions about others meanings, contrary to the interpretiation table below, and keep them a secret||notice and report on your theories about others, and ask if they are true|
|Leave when your emotions are intense||Describe the sensations you're experiencing|
|HARDCORE MODE: Saying the things you're most afraid not to say||HARDCORE MODE: Search your mind for the thing you're most afraid to say, and say it|
WHAT TO THINK
|Instead of thinking this||Hear this|
|person is judging/attacking me||neutral reports of their sensory and cognitive data|
|person doesn't want me around||person is extremely glad/grateful for my being here|
|person wants me to change my thoughts/words/behaviour||person is glad I think/speak/behave this way|
- hard rules are to protect others, so don't break them. Everything else is primarily to help you and is therefore optional.
- saying e.g. "I blame you for my anger" in the context of the understanding that your anger is not actually their responsibility, is fine
- or anyone else's
- substitute with "appreciate" when you feel it
- For example, any implication that there is an objectively correct course of action that a person should take
- It's okay to start vague and make mistakes, or to say "I don't know", and then perhaps look for more accurate words later.
- for the fearless who want to go deeper.
- but hasn't asked me to